My rock garden

So I have a small fenced in area in my back yard. I grow rocks there. I swear I am growing them. I have planted some vegetable there, but every time I water them, rocks grow. It's true. So anyway, there are some peas, onions, corn, strawberries, pumpkins, cantaloupes, watermelons, jelapenos, greenbeans, and tomatoes growing with the rocks. I had a thief in my garden two nights ago. A gopher. It came like a coward from beneath the ground and stold a whole tomatoe plant! It left only a hole where a plant should have been. Not even a leaf was left. I may have to start sleeping in the garden to protect my tomatoes. I only had 4 plants.